wholeness means being able to feel every emotion

 Bruce Conching shared during our ikepono class that a person cannot completely feel joy if he cannot feel pain.  I think that what makes kids whole.  Have you noticed how kids can be so happy - laughing and carefree? and how they can be so frustrated and angry also? Have you also noticed how numb people can be - like zombies  - not able to feel pain and love? Well i have seen both. My son has so much joy but can throw a tantrums when frustrated.  While my husband is like a living zombie - who suck up all pain making him unable to show how loving he can be.  Living with him made me a zombie too - feeling unloved and hits him back by not showing how much i really care.

A lot of us are living zombies. numb. then we ask ourselves why we become this way and since we don't get answers, we feel lost.  I was in that situation too.  I am so grateful i was able to get out of it. Ikepono did it to me.  It was really a life-changing seminar. After Ikepono, i can say that i am whole again and i am a better person.  It is my wish that my husband can attend it too.

Hazel, let go...

Let go and let it be - this is the message i get from the Superconscious. It is something hard for a control freak like me but it doesn't mean that i cannot learn it.

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A beautiful and strong girl named Hazel, who lives in the countryside, has a lot of things going in her life and she is weary.  One day, she went to the mountains to take a break.  On her way up, she was thinking a lot of things…asking why, trying to make sense of everything and beating herself up of what ifs and what it could have been better if.

As she was walking the trail, an otter suddenly appeared and sort of smiled to her, as if inviting her to get out of the trail and lose control.  She was afraid and questions ran through her mind…what if I get lost? How will I come back home? But the otter is very inviting so she loosen her guard and follow it.  The otter led her to a secluded prairie where there were beautiful flowers, fresh air and birds singing.  It was so beautiful and serene.  Suddenly there was a bright, blinding light and an angel whispered “take a rest hazel, sleep”.  Calmness overcome her and she took a nap.  It her dreams, an angel talk to her again and said, I will clear your spirit and you should let go.  Do not fear, you are safe in God’s care.  DO what your heart is telling you to do and I will be with you every step of the way. Then hazel woke up refreshed and inspired. 

What scares you?

saw this in the internet. Just reposting.

So True. We tackle this during our Ikepono with Bruce Conching.   I realized that i fear being successful because i have the belief that if i am successful my marriage might fall apart. I am working on that belief now through affirmations.

on life and blogging

I miss blogging.  I am happier when i write my thoughts and feelings.  It helps me sort things out in my mind and express my emotions.  Before, blogging was my respite from the routine and the busyness of work. It was like i was talking to myself - hugging and telling me "hey hazel brace up, this too shall pass" if i am under the storm...and  "you're awesome you made it" for my triumphs.  It was my piece of heaven.

About 10 years ago, i started this blog and posted more than 170 entries in 2.5 years.  I remember how i look forward to blogging - i wrote my blog at night and post it in the morning - this was during the days when internet was only available at the office and famous coffee shops (at a high price!). I read my blogroll and reply to comments before i pack up and head home.  I met other bloggers and hang out with them. It was fun. 

I forgot why i stopped blogging.  I was meaning to write before but it seems like my cluttered mind could not focus on something.  Perhaps, i was in topsy-turvy and even writing could not ease what i was feeling then. Maybe things were too painful to write like how we lost mama from cancer and how i held her before her last breath. Or may be i was too busy being a wife and mom that i forgot how soothing it is to blog.

There is so much to write about and to sort out.  I am just happy that i am blogging again!